I am pleased present the first collaboration I get on the blog, a review without wasting Predator, built by the great Dante Cantabria, come and enjoy.
"Hey! 're bleeding
"I have no time to bleed
" If it bleeds, we can kill him.
"It's time to pull the bag impatient ...
Predator (an article by Dante Cantabria)
Predator (1987)
John Mctiernan
The truth is that I find it hard to write objectively about Predator , my movie I frame in adolescence, with its spectacular mix of action and science fiction genres preferred by the undersigned along with the teen comedy "Made in USA" ( Porky's, Teen Wolf, Can not Buy Me Love etc. ETC. ) where do you think the youngsters who left the movies in the series "American Pie" ?
remember like it was yesterday when I went into my favorite video store, take the classic look at the news and there was the legendary cover missed covering the case of VHS, a format that seems more authentic than the cold dvd. Recently I was in movies like memory "Commando" and "Executioner" starring supercache menacing it occupied almost the entire cover and concluded (do not ask me why) it must be a third of a trilogy that existed only in my imagination. Arnold was already a fan of "Spermerser" as my grandfather called from "Terminator" and "Conan the Barbarian" (by the way has anyone seen "Hercules in new york" ?, It is absolutely hallucinogenic) So I went home from a colleague and we prepared to see her, Predator, many coca colas and some "pink panthers", there still legendary cakes (by the way this colleague, passionate of role-playing games and manga more destroyer, was the same he got on a trip to England, vo, a movie that had not yet been released in Spain: "Bloodsport" , discovering his friend Jean Claude). Also after seeing Predator , saw " Urushokidoji, the lord of evil" , the legendary manga, imagine more scrotumtightening late afternoon, but that is another story ... My colleague and I, we were ojipláticos after viewing this great work (also with that of flipe "urushokidogi" , but for other "reasons").
The film could not start better. After the credits, with spacecraft included (this shook us up completely, because I remember we thought this would be "Commando 3, the return of Matrix" or something like that) are an emerging helicopters Sunset somewhere cerquita of Ecuador (this plane, little ones he has not been invented my idolized Mr Bay, and was from Apocalipsys Now ). The images suggest heat, humidity and I bebiéndome my first Coca Cola, as was cool! Sits apparatus, with the score from the legendary Alan Silvestri background, booming, powerful and seamless as a warning of what is to arrive.
They got little by little they seem more supersoldiers (nothing to do with fags accompanying Stallone in "John Rambo" , tattoo and so much shit and then as they arrive in Burma) to arrive back-plane of the "group leader." There she is, with a red Lacoste polo or similar, about to burst, profiden smile and a "Montecristo king size" between the teeth, the Austrian gold, which here is called "Alan Ducht" but we'll call Arnold, period.
enter into a kind of barracks, command post, and here comes the first males of the film, ie "Conan vs. Apollo Creek" greet warmly, but not as I with my colleagues, no, those are sissies, but a handshake, which becomes a battle between the two, with the biceps of one and another about to explode ("tribute to " I, the hawk ?), at the same time say things like:
Arnaldo:
- What is it, Dilon (here called Apollo Dilon,), the CIA you to put to work in an office? Did we? (10 seconds before and had lied to the mother, as an initial greeting)
Apollo therefore not only makes sounds like "ggñgñggññgguffffff" trying to win pulse, which is unlikely of course.
After greeting each other, but not rub much (they are tough guys, here the underground sexuality does not exist). So "Dilon" Arnaldo former teammate, now works in quartermaster for the CIA, warming a chair in an office with air conditioning, tells Arnold that somewhere in Central America, near where they are, a group of berets Green led by an old acquaintance of both, has not returned from a mission that has to do with a politician has retained metepatas involving guerrillas, but actually is an excuse for a Dilon not fall into the hands of the Russians support the aforementioned guerrilla (in fact the reason why the elite group into the jungle I am never quite clear, but the truth is that neither know nor do I care). Arnaldo reluctantly and other "Expendables" , accompanied by Dillon, they take a helicopter and became embroiled in what looks like a mission over many, before accompanying them in the helicopter to take them to slaughter, will make a short description this particular "wild group" ;
Arnaldo
As I have described above a little pass to Apollo-Carl Weathers, former teammate on the town's character Arnold, now gentrified and over a little traidorzuelo, but only slightly , but then have time to redeem ...
spent the next phenomenon, the great Jesse Ventura, Arnold harasser in the highly recoverable "Haunted" , a film advance what will happen some day in the "reality shows" on TV 5 and continue through the way to go ..., here named "Blain", or two meters of rope, and handles almost as Arnold, and it also has the gun more scrotumtightening of 80, a Soviet Gaitlin (same helicopters carrying Soviet chase scenes Stallone several "Rambo" and "Rambo 3" , only the guy takes with one hand while with the other scratching the balls on par with killing a guerrilla unhappy. This gun spits out two hundred thousand rounds per minute heats with ease before you empty the magazine. For gafapasta this would be a clear phallic symbol ... anyway.
The following Actionman, served with "Mac" and it stars actor Bill Duke also came in "Commando" , where it has a dramatic knife fight with Arnold, but ultimately dies with the other fifty thousand brush Arnold in the film. Maintains a homoerotic relationship with "Blain", is also black and I think the voice has been stolen from Brian Bosworth, in "Cold as steel" , right?
Now my favorite, if you ladies and gentlemen, boys and gafapastas, the great Sonny Landheer Weeber or Chinese! Donald Sutherland's armed wing in "Locked" Stallone fan bitching to return to manage the roost in the bag. Here plays a Native American (Indian or a lifetime) with the name "Billy", not "Sitting Bull" or "Eagle of the green fields" not called that, and it is very mystical and New Age and exercises tracker at the same time has spider sense, every time the predator is lurking, he noted.
With a look at the "Thunder" character is the coolest command.
Time for Richard Chaves, "Poncho" to friends, acts as an interpreter of English and despite being the most emaciated of the group is the last to croak. Use grenades and Uzi submachine gun, weapons of all classic eighties film lovers.
Le the turn Hawkins (Shane Black), who deserves to die since the fall of the helicopter as it has unprintable jokes saint and beatified in this blog, not green, but because they are bad balls as well the predator is looking like there gafapastoide and obviously does not happen. But best of all, this uncle, part actor, is a writer and nothing more and nothing less than the cross out cross out! Lethal Weapon 1 and 2 ", or that Riggs and Mourtaugh dialogues, are written by this guy. That's " I am old for this, " that said Danny Glover, Mel Gibson when he got into a problem, I invented this writer got to actor ... So what to do ... Oh I think dealing with explosives, I was too busy figuring out their jokes and I I miss this detail .
Well, to the point, after a helicopter viajecillo the music of "Little Richards" background (I have it as line in the mobile, in honor of this film, along with the "Gunnery Sergeant Haighwey" when I called my grandfather) and a feud between Dillon and Blain (Blain spits snuff, for tough guys chew snuff) on foot of Dillon and this threatens to looking tiger, finally things kids, get off the helicopter into the jungle trap in this film works as a disruptive and threatening to allow the alien to play hide and seek with our hormones boy scouts. After a brief, guarded by the predator always subjectively escojonado found a helicopter and several mangled bodies, some without backbones, without head and without other anatomy that carries the predator as a trophy. And is that the animal is a fetish out-and-out, as the space suit's friend is very sadomaso and if you join the arsenal of edged weapons carrying and definitely look Trendy, give direct passport to make a movie with Rocco Siffredi in plan "Rocco to the Forbidden Planet .
Arnold, and wide-eyed (this is done much in this movie, as if Gayumbo pinch or so) takes the plate of one of them, the famous "Jim Hooper" , former colleague, and saying "would not be so easily surprised," while Billy begins to alter and Blain takes the po ... that the gaitlin at which the flame "impatience" (If this is not a reference to the penis, lose God and see it) and continue until you reach the rebel camp. There than usual, courtesy witness an execution by the association of friends of Mikhail Gorbachev, Mexican extras screaming eating beans that the brush etc etc. Start
good, our cheerful boys begin to be placed in strategic positions to a single gesture of Arnaldo (it shows the military training they received all the actors before shooting began and Jesse Ventura as well as Richard Chaves were former veterans of Viet -nan, in real life). Then hell breaks loose (for the poor fighters, that is) All this shot with the Tiernan Mc unmistakable style that is always focused action from the best point of view, without the dizzying camera movements of Michael Bay and his contemporaries, with a frenzied pace without using twenty thousand planes per second. since the rhythm is marked by the sequence itself and not the courts. The Die Hard director to get us to swallow that seven ropes brushing medium South American army, walking, barely breaking a sweat and sweat or leaving a few of those funky phrases that we love, like when Poncho Blain tells " Hey, you're bleeding ", after a powerful piece of shrapnel arm, to which Blain says, "I have no time to bleed" Arnaldo or enters a hut, throwing down the door exclaiming "Knock, knock" to act massacre followed a couple of Russians who seem selling weapons to the guerrillas and the best: When nailing a machete to a guerrilla in a wall and drop a "Do not move" , Descojonado.
Excluding taunts causing "impatient" , especially to poor tree pruning from 10 yards away, along with poor guerrilla who was out there uploaded. One moment, I leave the second multi orgasmic scene of the film ... As the rest of the group is taking a stand to brush the guerrillas, Arnold gave the order to a somewhat peculiar, ie, put a c4 explosive in a huge wooden cart, which is the power generator that powers all guerrilla installation. So that raises the car up to the generator (and a diesel generator eye, say it is full, together with a cart of solid wood, can weigh 200 or 250 kg) lift it until you remove the caps, it moves and throws it against the command post. Total commands everyone to take the ass and from there begins the ordeal of the guerrillas.
After brushing the camp, pick up a prisoner, Ana (Eldipidia Carrillo), and Arnold gets angry with Dillon, and that his men used to do the dirty work, "This is a rescue group, we are not murderers," as he did at first, while embedded with Dilon against wall. It is curious that none of the members of the group respects Dilon, despite being a higher military rank than them, which gives an idea of \u200b\u200bthe contempt of these types to military games, drawing a parallel with the character of Mayor "El Sargento de Hierro" Clint Eastwood that undermines and joke all the time: Here, the character of Carl Weathers suffered misunderstanding of soldiers who left long ago to be civilized and they despise everything sounds like a tamed. Despite all our Apollo Creed acquire its former state of consciousness as it develops the film, a character development worthy of the arthouse films of French cinema of the 70 (Jua jua I do not believe nor I )
Well in short, evil Russians are selling weapons to the guerrillas (as usual, until I "Soviet, the answer" or "Red Scorpion" ) and political more signs that the CIA is estab ... Come on, someone you really care about this?. Certainly not to me ....
continues, the evident superiority of "The Expendables" Puts hot the "Chupacabras" (always thought the legend of the Chupacabras, the bug that it is an institution in South America, more or less as the "Yeti" in the Himalayas and is supposed to be a pet alien a UFO was left forgotten, inspired the screenwriters), which decides to pursue to hunt one on one, except the girl and that is armed.
The first to fall is the writer of lethal weapon that leaves no glasses pasta. The girl, who witnesses the attack and it is your fault for running away from his guardian, or Dilon, Arnaldo because the questions were so fast that no one has seen anything except it, but just merely saying that "it was the jungle." Here the movie completely changes the registration as "Supermen" that take all the footage chest out, become a group of cheerleaders from those who have contracted to the scene to die as if this were " Last Friday, 13 Halloween night on Elm Street ". The movie goes from being a spectacular but topical action film to become an epic science fiction where anything can happen. It shows the predator, with his invisible suit, but slightly visible (a fx East certainly laugh at the shit your current visual effects). Now there is something like that has already been tested by members of U.S. special forces. It is a kind of breastplate provided similar minicameras million pixels of the current lcds are just cameras and screen at once, that is recorded in advance for it to look behind and vice versa). Once again science fiction ahead of reality, and the predator is actually a gigantic camera with two million megapixels reversible ... "You have to fuck" I'd say Blain.
Indeed death follows precisely the aforementioned stars, in the third scene of the movie multiorgasmic. Following the death of little boy held gafapastoide, Arnold, already smell the toast, in part thanks to Billy, who is giving to watch that with phrases like "What is out there is not of this world" and "We will all die" , orders combed the perimeter looking for the body . At one point, the group gets lost Blain, "impatient" in hand, then it appears the chupacabras in plan "Marian Year" and clear shoot first and then ask. Before you can pull the trigger, the Predator has already struck, and immediately displayed all with Matt Sergeant, actual "couple" of Blain, the head color flips when she sees her boyfriend. So fucks the "impatient" and begins to trigger the bug, which runs off. Results: Five guys all shooting at nothing, without a fixed target, those Greenpeace protesting the scene, and half jungle to hell, that if the sequence scrotumtightening and I enjoying a great time and embarrassment to my colleague Pink Panthers (I remember like it was yesterday) after the visual orgasm, Arnaldo orders everyone to stay still and mount a series of defensive traps to see if they hunt.
Mat Night falls and obscures the death of his friend while standing guard, heard a noise but it is a boar (that I've seen it in "Outlander" , twenty years later, only with a bear) I believe hunting that's what this is massacring and the Alien takes the time to take the body of the fallen, fucking ghoul intimate scene with Matt Blain ... In short, no longer respect anything. The girl begins to speak, that if the grandmother and her stories of chupacabras, that if you're like chameleons to change color, then Dilon you think are a couple of soldiers and Arnaldo not, but that "if it bleeds, we kill " (by the way his use of focus blur Mac Tiernan during conversations is Keynote transcendental) and so on. So we changed the single storey traps and climb the trees and see what happens .. .
After a sequence of transition in which the defense made that quite evidently a video clip of "Locomia" all shirtless, on plan "A" team, singing "Macho Men" the "Village People ", appears incredibly predator falls into one of them (a thousand years of advanced technology, and falls into a network, which vulgar Lobster Bay) will soar, and Matt runs after taking off her clothes, ready to fuck her killing her boyfriend. Unexpectedly (by the balls, because they see it coming), while others escape scared shitless in the opposite direction, Dilon offers to go, knowing that frees your staff position. The kill them both, (the death of Dilon is spectacular and again the excellent use of focus and blur "Made in McTiernan" , plus a rotating camera fully justified, not as a director that I was ... and that I'm a fan of it.
Billy falls during flight, in a new scene multiorgasmic (and go ...) is: stop, Arnaldo yells, what the fuck to try, while, he does ignored his superior, took off his shirt, takes the knife to cut hair, is placed over a log and cut his chest claiming acojonar the predator. Of course a terrifying scream, out of plane tells us that Billy's gone to "Great Plains" . Total Poncho, Arnaldo girl And run and run, and after I told them that palm Poncho reaching and leaving the Governatorato alone with her. Arnold, who also has been reached send the girl to run away and get into a helicopter pilot in which the predator without a suit (it seems that "Kevin Peter Hall" , a two-meter specialist actor give life to different monsters , who doubles in this film and the handling apparatus at the same time is also hidden under the guise of the predator and that even the very "Jean Claude Van Damme" was shuffled to give life to the alien, before being superstar ... the predator you imagine flying kicking?) Finally the two real stars of the film facing. The bug is perfectly and deploys the full arsenal to hunt down our hero. I say "It looks perfectly" , because it is real, tangible and physically present, it is not "Jar Jar Bings" or anything, because you sweat and even get a good idea of \u200b\u200bhow it will smell the goat to which we add that no four planes a minute, and dizzying camera movements. Someday I will articulate my thesis because battles "Braveheart" I like (because they are) and those of "Gladiator" no, (that are not).
The following twenty minutes are magnificent; Arnaldo hiding the bug after falling through a waterfall, full of mud and realizing that while it is covered in shit is invisible to the Alien (new change of roles), the predator shooting in the dark, dodging such as Arnold, which Tarzan. Then each one in his corner preparing the next assault, as if this were "Rocky IV". The Alien looking around while healing the wounds and put his trophies on the fucking shitting because it lacks the most part chunga. Arnold plan calls on "William Wallace" , the predator that is, given a locally termed the shit, the other shit instead of fear as a human being either calls it ugly when you remove the spacesuit ...
Finally everything spectacular and improbable sequences but you believe them as they are well shot (the last delivery "Full Gas" is an example of dramatic scenes WHO IS NOT THERE THE A CRE) and the same goes for special effects (the bug "Outlander" , for example, a movie that shares this concept with IS A FUCKING CARTOON ), and say nothing of the two supplies of "Alien Vs Predator" , some day I shit on these two films as God intended, and to compare this or lower although hilarious "Predator 2" with new deliveries is like comparing "Interview with the Vampire the shit bitch Twilight ), a dramatic climax, blood flowed in, the hero smoking, violence, an excellent example of how to go teaching the "bad" gradually until it is loaded Arnaldo, the brilliant musical score by Alan Silvestri, sound, locations ... absolutely everything 100 per 100 eighties and PERFECT.
The worst thing is that sometimes great and sometimes horrible, Robert Rodriguez, seeks "reinvent" the franchise, whatever that may entail. May God take us confessed.
(c) 2009 by Dante Cantabria
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